I am really, truly, and honestly scared.
During the last few days, my health has deteriorated significantly. My balance is non-existent and my legs are so weak I can’t walk more than a few feet, my vision is disturbed, I’m faint, dizzy, anxious, and I am having terrible nausea and neck pain. I saw my neurologist yesterday. But I had to borrow their wheelchair to get into their office, because the cane just wasn’t enough.
He said my nerve fiber test came back OK, but that could be because they didn’t hit the correct area, which happens. He thinks, based on my symptoms, I may have multiple sclerosis, or….a tumor/tumors on my spine. The reason he thinks a spinal tumor is a possibility is because of my symptoms and the fact my reflexes are so extreme/jumpy. They’re going to call me today with an appointment for a spinal MRI at the hospital, since I have to be knocked out for it, due to my severe claustrophobia. It has to be a closed MRI, because they need really detailed pictures, and the open MRI isn’t sufficient.
I basically spend my day stuck in my recliner or on the couch. I hope this wheelchair shows up soon.
I’m suffering…….a lot. With few answers. And I’m scared.
Ah. Lot’s of respect to you. I hope that this will all turn out good. Have a good day!
-Randomandunheardof
I am hoping for an answer but an answer that isn’t too scary for you.
Thanks…I hope so, too. It’s strange, because more than anything, I just don’t want to suffer. The suffering scares me more than anything!
That’s super scary. Try to remember that things might turn out okay, even though it doesn’t seem possible. One of two things will happen. 1) They will find something. No matter what they find, you will have more information, and a better shot at getting useful treatment. 2) They find nothing. Even though it’s disheartening, if they can’t see anything wrong, you have a better chance at a full recovery. I guess there is that 3rd option of things getting more murky and confusing than they were before, but maybe try to lump that in with the second outcome. I know there’s a chance that they find something super awful that they can’t do anything about, but that isn’t anymore likely than the alternative. I know you’re fully aware that things might not be okay. Try focus with at least equal intensity on the fact that they might be okay. I was forgetting how to speak, couldn’t lift my leg when asked to, my muscles would seize up until I couldn’t move, and a number of other seriously not good signs. No one ever found out why, and it got a lot better. Something is still wrong, but I’m okay. I know that doesn’t mean you will get better, but it means that you might. Please keep us posted. I’ll be hoping for good news.
I’m so sorry you have declined so rapidly. It is really scary when that happens. I always find it scary because not only may something be terribly wrong with me, I have lost control of my body. I try and think “what could go right” when I get tests rather than “what could go wrong”… but I know that is really hard to do.
I’m happy to hear they are knocking you out for the MRI because I think I recall you having a really hard time getting a CT/MRI awhile back. There’s no point in suffering when we don’t have to!
That is scary. Something that can help ‘buy time’ when you are feeling really close to hitting the floor is to tighten your thigh muscles over and over. Even if you’re sitting down. It can make it possible to get to a safe place so you don’t get hurt. I also do those, as well as ankle pumps, before I get out of bed. <3