Today is day one of of my joblessness. Actually, I went through day one about six months ago, when I first got sick at my old job. But this feels like day one all over again. I have very mixed feelings today. TECHNICALLY, I still have a job….I haven’t been canned yet. But I’m out on medical leave, I’ve been at this job for seven weeks (back at this job…I DID work here for 11 years, but left for 1.5 years), so of course, I am sure they’ll let me go soon, and rightly so. They have a business to run, after all.
So here I sit. On today’s agenda, I’m going to make some sourdough bread, do some laundry, and reschedule my son’s windshield replacement. Maybe I’ll clean a little bit, too.
But where do I go from here? I just don’t know. I’m not good at many things. I’m pretty decent at listening and helping others (thank you, MS in Counseling)…I’m a good student. I like to bake, especially breads. I have no idea how I could ever translate those things into making a living wage again with all of my limitations thanks to my POTS and autonomic neuropathy problems. I don’t know of any regular-paying gigs where you can work a few hours here-and-there when you feel decent. Maybe eventually I’ll figure something out. I want to figure out those things TODAY, but that doesn’t seem likely.
I also worry about how we’re going to handle money around here. My husband said the sweetest thing to me yesterday. He said, “You’re my favorite person in the world. Why on earth would I kick you to the curb over something as stupid as money? That’s ridiculous.” It was one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me. But I’ve been financially independent since I was a teenager. I have no idea how this is supposed to work. If I want a pack of gum, do I have to ask for money? I know this is something we have to work out, but this seems so alien to me. It may be quite some time before I see any type of disability money, so I suppose I’ll have to somehow get used to it.
Today, I do feel a bit down. And bored. But, I didn’t have to wake up at 5:30am today and crawl (literally) to my office to work. I won’t have to start working again at midnight tonight and work until 10:00AM, then have my husband practically carry me to the bathroom all evening. Getting a normal amount of rest seems to be helping some. Actually, a lot.
But this is hard. I’d rather be working than feeling like this.
I can’t remember if you’re in the united states or not. If you are, look into lion bridge. You rate search engine results. You’re supposed to work 10-20 hours a week, but I would sometimes end up doing 5, and nothing happened. Actually, I just got canned, but I don’t think that was the reason. :p (Not a problem, I’m getting ready to graduate.) It’s on your own schedule, and sometimes work isn’t available, so it’s not super reliable, but could be something. Good luck!
Thanks for the lead! I just took a peek…doesn’t look like they’re hiring for that position now, but I will definitely check back.
It’s just such a shock to lose 60% of our household income (my income) in one fell swoop.
I have a couple of weeks of vacation pay, but then…nothing but our savings until disability possibly kicks in, and that could take eons. This is tough.
Getting enough sleep will help you see all things more clearer and figure out ways to make it all work somehow. One step at a time.
I hope so. Thank you for all of your ongoing support
I’m sorry to hear about your medical leave. It’s hard to have to take a step back from doing something you enjoy (or, at least something that provides income). Being ill is definitely a life changer, but hopefully we find alternatives to help us cope. Perhaps a new opportunity will arise soon. But, in the meantime, your husband sounds like a wonderful person.
He is a wonderful guy! I just hate to think of him having to take care of me like this.
I’m so sorry. Wish we had answers for you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.